Unbreakable

“I’m two cups into my coffee break… I’m turning my cell off, just to breath cause everyone I know just keeps calling me and I just need a little time..”

______________________________________________________________________

Just being around my dad changes my whole view on things. I remember everything he taught us while we were growing up; how he expected us to be when we became adults. In the one week he’s been here, I’ve had the motivation to do things that I would normally put off until I felt like it. Everything just seems so much more clear and easy when he’s around. I even had 2 job interviews this week with another set up for Monday morning.. 

What’s getting to me is that I hate myself for not being like this all the time.. I shouldn’t have to wait for my dad to be able to be productive in my life. I’m so lazy.. I put things off way too much just because I know I don’t really have to do them. A lot of the tasks I say I “have” to do are ones that I appoint to myself because I feel like I should do something. The problem with that is that if by the time comes to do what I set for myself and I don’t feel like doing it at that moment, I won’t. I’ll wait until I feel like it, but as a consequence, it pushes all of the other tasks back. It doesn’t make sense.. I was raised better than this. My dad raised me better than this…. Watching him do even just everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, or running errands makes me feel so lazy.. I feel like I’ve failed him as his son and as a person.. 

He leaves Sunday morning and instead of spending as much time with him as I can, I’m laying on my bed, crying, and writing this. This just adds to the feeling of failure I have right now. I don’t want him to leave. I miss spending time with him. It’s been hard to spend time with him as we get older. Things just keep getting in the way. Fuck.. I guess this is growing up.. I don’t want to fail him anymore. I know how to be the best I can because of him and my mom. They taught me everything I need to succeed. 

___________________________________________________________________

“Now I’m done with my coffee break. I turn on my phone now that I’ve grown up..”

First my brother gets a tumor in his head and now my sister has one going all through her spinal column?…. What are the chances that 2 out of the 5 Lopez kids get cancer? I know the chances, it was a rhetorical question.. Point is, it shouldn’t have happened. It’s ridiculous. We’re a healthy family… 

Tony’s isn’t causing him much problem, yet. Just made him pass out a few times, but Nina’s is giving her horrible back pain. They just found it today. Hopefully it’s operable.. The crappy part is that when she started having the back pain, the first thing I thought of was that she had a tumor.. And only because I had recently watched “50/50” and remembered that the guy’s tumor also started with back pain.. I didn’t mean for it to be true….. 

I can’t believe this. 

Bye.

Hopefully this is the last one. We have a concert on May 27th, so it better be the last one. Hahaha. 

En Todo Esta Tu Amor- Juan Carlos Perez-Soto (My step-dad): Lead acoustic guitar and lead vocals.

Wonderwall- Oasis: Lead vocals.

If I Die Young- Michael Henry and Justin Robinett: Lead vocals and back-up piano. Might not do this song.. Haven’t practiced.

I Won’t Give Up- Jason Mraz: Lead acoustic guitar.

Viva La Vida- Area 305: Lead acoustic guitar.

Nunca Digas Siempre- Luis Fonsi: Strings on the piano.

Quiero Decirte- Guaco: Rhythm electric guitar.

If It Means A Lot to You- A Day to Remember: Lead acoustic guitar.

River Deep Mountain High- Glee: Rhythm acoustic guitar.

Cat and Mouse- Nikki and Rich: Back-up vocals.

B-e-a-utiful- Megan Nicole: Lead acoustic guitar.

25 Horas- Proyecto Uno: Strings on the piano.

Dancing in the Moonlight- Alyson Stoner: Lead acoustic guitar.

_____________________________________________________________________

Other songs I don’t play in:

Good People- Jack Johnson

Skyscraper- Demi Lovato

Neon- John Mayer

Two is Better Than One- Boys Like Girls

Never Gonna Leave This Bed- Maroon 5

Many The Miles- Sara Bareilles

Cameo Lover- Kimbra

______________________________________________________________________

I’ll be asking people individually to come when I get the tickets, but if you like the songs and want to support Music Lab, feel free to tell me you want to go and I’ll save you a ticket. Plus, how many of you have seen me perform live? Almost none. It’s fun! =P

Peace.

Karla’s mom just asked me to train her……

….wut?….

I should really take more advantage of that. I stay in the house all day either training, doing chores, playing guitar and singing, or being on the computer. I want to go out more. Music Lab isn’t enough anymore. I’m not saying I want to go out to clubs and drink all the time. No, I’ve tried that and that’s not for me, but I wouldn’t mind the occasional party with friends and maybe some strangers so I can get to know new people and have a couple of beers. I wouldn’t want anything too demanding, either because I do spend a lot of my time training and I just want to relax. Playing sports would be too demanding, but I don’t mind throwing a baseball or football around from time to time. I love to learn; going to a museum or an art gallery would be perfect for me. Hell, I’d enjoy going downtown or to Miami Beach and just walking around. There’s a lot to see. The one thing I won’t do is go to the movies. I have my reasons. Hahahaha. 

Bye.